"Dating" for Families

Our plans for yesterday included a trip into downtown Burlington for the annual Mardi Gras parade. We were scheduled to meet up with another family from our town, with kids the same age as ours. Perfect plan, except for the fact that Mardi Gras is in February, and we are in Vermont, and the mild weather we've been having couldn't possibly last long enough for us to get outside for the day. It was a perfect winter's day, sunny and COLD! A little too cold for the babies, so we made a new plan.

Play date!

I'm fairly new to the world of play dates, but I certainly feel the name is apt. It's been awhile since I was single, but I remember the feelings: the initial connection, then the gradual exploration as to whether this acquaintance might grow to something...more.

We've had some interaction with this family before. All the kids go to the same daycare, and we've gotten together at least twice before, with some success. The kids get along, the parents are friendly and laid back, and so far we have all the hallmarks of a "match". However, it's still a little early in the game, and while the kids let it all hang out, the adult are still in "best behavior" mode.

Parental conversation starts with the basic, neutral conversations: kids, work, day care, parenthood. We bring up thoughtful details that we remember from our previous interactions, and things go smoothly. It's when the conversation lags a bit that the choice is made: do I reveal my addiction to trash TV and celebrity gossip now, or do I suppress it for a bit? I chose to suppress it, not wanting to rock the boat of our early friendship.

By the time dinner is on the table, we've weathered a few minor kiddie upsets, mainly revolving around head bonking and toy stealing. We are tentatively talking about spring and summer get togethers, subtly communicating that both families are feeling good about the relationship. We don't close the deal on our next "date" yet, because by the end of the night the kids are tired and becoming unreasonable. The knowledge is there as we say our goodbyes, collect toys and pack up bottles: there will be a next time.

The next get together will be on our turf, and at that point maybe we'll cross that bridge into the next phase. We can stop shaving our legs, wear sweats, and eat dessert, because at that point the relationship is a keeper.